Out of Retirement

So, fact, it has been quite a while since I last wrote.  I could go on about projects that have kept me busy, or whatever, but really I just got lazy.  Oooor...maybe I had written a bunch of posts from Edward's perspective, and then they got leaked, and now I am too distraught to finish my blog.  STEPHENIE.


Anyway.  What brought me out of my little blog vacay was THIS CAKE:

I saw this and it was like the sun came shining through a part in the clouds "AAAAAAAAA" (angels singing).  This cake.  Is.  AWESOOOOME.  Look at it!  I am going to make a list of the things that are sweet about this totally insane/amazing cake right now:

1.  Edward holding Bella as his little legs go shooting up the mountain.  Love.  Check out his bracelet!  What an awesome detail.

2.  Wolf secretly checking them out.  That wolf is going to continue fighting for Bella until his dying breath.  We learned that from the Eclipse trailer released recently.

3.  This person is clearly on my wavelength cause they chose one of the best quotes from the movie (the "spider monkey" line, of course).

4.  Adorable "Tree Felling In Progress" sign.  "As if you could outrun me!"  Oh man.  That part is so great.

4.  Little birdy poking out of the tree, cute cute cute.

Chrissy, you sure are lucky to have buds like this!


In conclusion:

Will you guys be my new best friends?  : )

How Do We Feel About Twilight The Graphic Novel?

Looks dumb.  Will probably read it anyway.  FML*.

This cake, on the other hand...love it!  I was so mad at myself because I thought I had deleted the email by accident, but then today I found it!  Hurray for small miracles.

Celine, bravo!  It's not easy to make an b*tchy looking Bella and a pasty white, marble skinned snowman version of Edward out of frosting, but you guys managed beautifully.  Thanks for sharing!


(*This is coming from a person who bought and treasured a graphic novel version of The Hobbit when I was in middle school, so what do I know?  Maybe it will be brilliant!  Ha.  Sometimes I say crazy things.)

Why Did I Forget About the Onion?

In college, I would read The Onion all the time.  But now?  Not so much.  And why why do I not, because look how hilarious this article is?

Woman Married To Fat, Emotionally Distant Vampire Escapes Into 'Twilight' Novels

At first Sara was content with her role as homemaker, cleaning the vast Gothic manse the couple shared and cooking meals that met the strict sanguinary requirements of Andrei's diet. But according to friends, things started to change a few years ago.

ENLARGE IMAGE

Sara Pastor can't even remember the last time her husband battled a wolf for her affection.

Sara's dream husband began spending more and more time secluded in darkened alcoves with his cape drawn over his face. Before long, Andrei—once a stealthy hunter who easily stalked young and healthy prey—started feeding excessively on any slow-moving person who happened to wander by the house, and soon ballooned to almost twice his normal weight.

"When we were first married, Andrei was so dark and mysterious," Pastor said wistfully. "These days, pretty much all he does is sit around swilling blood and watching ESPN."

Added Pastor, "Edward would never do that to Bella."

Love it!  You can read the rest of the article here.

David Slade Needs to Stop Messing With Us

What is this, lies?  That was posted on Dec. 30th.  It is now Jan. 5th.  Almost a week!  He can't say something like that and then not deliver within days.  And if it does take much longer, it better be good.  Not a hi-res version of some picture we've already seen.  I demand greatness from this Twitter promise!!


At least I have my bakers to pick up the slack.  Check out this AMAZING Twilight cake:

Can you believe it?  I think my favorite parts are the iPhone and the fluffy white pillows.  Simone is a lucky girl!  Nina from Sassy Cakes by Nina made it, you can check out more of her work here.  Great work, and thanks for sharing!

Taylor and Taylor...NOOOOOOOOOOO

Can you believe it?  How could they do this to us?  How could SHE do this to us?  Swift?  NOT COOL SISTER.  You had a national treasure on your hands (Taylor and his abs) and this is what you do with him?   Even the Huffington Post is surprised/mildly interested/wants the clicks linking to this will get it.  

Whatever.  Cake does not lie.  And someone doesn't make a cake like this for you and your character unless you are the best and most definitely NOT the suck:

So suck on that Taylor "Who Do You Think You Are" Swift!*  No one made a wolf head cake like that for you.  A cake for you would be like, a bloody beating heart dying on a table made out of red velvet and wolf viscera.

You know what?  It's going to be ok.  Taylor will find love elsewhere.  Maybe T and Rob should date.  Who said that?

Great job Cakes by Evonne!

*Taylor Swift is a lovely young lady and they are young and I am not really that invested in a teen relationship.  Right?  Right.  ...

I Can Haz Twilight Cookies?

I may be late to the game, but I just found the site popsuede.com, and I love it!  I love her lolcats reviews of Twilight and New Moon.  Even the SATC one is hilarious!  Just check out the beginning of the New Moon post:

I mean, come on.  It's awesome already!

You know what else is awesome?  These totally rad cookies made by Michelle!

Just gorgeous!  The ribbon on the Eclipse cookie is easily the best one I've seen on a dessert so far, it looks great.  Amazing job, Michelle!

I Done Saw the Movie

Twice!  It was glorious.  I don't care what the reviews say.  Did they expect the movie to be Casablanca or something?  If the source material is cheesy, then the movies are destined to be corny.  But who cares!  It's Twilight!  Girl crack.  I totally loved it, and I am actually pretty sad now that Rachelle Lefevre is not going to play Victoria in Eclipse.  Even though she had no lines in New Moon, that whole sequence with the Thom Yorke song playing was so amazing, and she looked so fierce in it, that I am now totes Team Rachelle.  


During my absence I received some awesome cake submissions! 

From Jackie Bakes Cakes

From Laurel of KiddieKakes

Pretty pretty pretty!  Awesome job guys!


Also SPOILER ALERT.  I am going to show a still from the movie.  Get ready.  

Ha!  It's from Cleolinda's New Moon in 15 Minutes.  Read it now!  She is so funny.  I have a funnybone crush on her.

Great job ladies!

My Cakes

I had such plans!  I wanted to make three cakes, can you believe it?  But reality set in and I had to settle on two cakes, so I decided to make Twi-cakes that I haven't seen before.  I now present to you, for the first time on the interwebs...Forks Cake, and Team Charlie's Mustache Cake.  TADA TADA TADA TADA TADAAAA:

Cake: Forks Logo

Inspiration: The neato signage in Forks

Cake: Charlie's 'Stache

Inspiration: Charlie and his sweet mustachio  

To see how extremely accurate my fondant 'stache is, please put your eyes on the below:

See the cake stache on him?  I know...it's amazing.

Happy birthday Nikki!  The Forks cake is chocolate with pumpkin buttercream, and the 'Stache cake is vanilla with mocha buttercream.

For more pics of these cakes check out www.cakehero.com!

KStew

I saw her on Jimmy Fallon last night.  Wow.  First of all, watching those two stutter through their sentences was something special, am I right?  They could both hardly choke their words out and it was sort of amazing to see it all unfold.  I have to say though, even though she is totes awkward I have firmly decided to be on Team KS.  She is cool!  I dig her weird attitude and her awkward vibe, she is a strange one but she is also not fake, and that is something to be cherished in a celebrity these days.  Never stop dropping MTV awards Kristen!  Don't let them change you!

Another thing I don't ever want to change is how darling these cookies from L&V Sweets are. (Smoooooth transition).  Yum yum, I want to eat a hundred right now in honor of this, the most momentous of all occasions.  New Moon in theaters, tonight!    

"As If You Could Outrun Me!"

Fact: That is what I would say to RP if I saw him.


And what do you know, that is exactly the quote that Lauren put on her cute and funny Twilight cake:

I am also very interested in that strip of pictures with RPattz in them...are those photoshopped?  You have to make sure to click on the picture to see it bigger, cause I am also loving the quote with her friend Teresa's name inserted into it, as well as the "Hello" picture.  Confession: I think RP is the cutest in that scene.  Ha!  I am a dork.  Anyway, I think that this cake.  Is. Awesome.  Great job Lauren (and thanks for sharing Tanya)!!